Happy Birthday Ash Part 2
by Randomcat
Summary: Later at Ash's Birthday Party. Read "Happy Birthday Ash" first.


Happy Birthday Part 2

Please read "Happy Birthday Ash" before this fan-fic, as much of it may not make any sense otherwise. Sorry for taking so long to write my second fic, I needed to wait for another wave of imagination.

Mary Lynette was crying. She cleared her eyes and looked her surroundings. The cupboard was completely full. She herself was squashed at the back and practically sitting on her lap was James, still whimpering about his poor, poor carpet. Last of all there was a short shadowy figure leaning against the door.

"Look you two," Quinn said. "I bagsied this cupboard first so I don't really think it's fair that you two get to share it."

By this time both of the other occupants of the cupboard had burst into fresh gales of tears.

"My poor carpet. My poor, poor carpet. It will never be exactly the same shade of pink again. There will just be great big patches of dark brown stains on it. My poor carpet…" James murmured to himself between tears.

"Look, Jamey-boy. Your carpet can be sorted out with a bottle of bleach. My problems can't be sorted so easily. A bottle of bleach won't get me back my darling, adorable, cutesy-wutesy Colin." Quinn started to sniffle.

"Bleach will just turn the carpet a lighter shade of pink." Retorted James. "I _liked _the colour of that carpet, it was just the right balance between sugar pink and baby pink…"

Mary-Lynette stifled her tears for a couple of seconds to say, "Well, I think I should have priority over the cupboard, as I do have the greatest problem here."

"Oh, yeah? What's your problem then that it should be worse than my poor, beautiful, precious Colin." Quinn sneered, managing to control the crack of his voice on the last words so that they were only as audible as a jet engine in a monastery. 

"Well, it's not a goldfish at danger in my problem, it's a gorgeous, funny, lovely, handsome vampire."

"Who? Me?" Both James and Quinn asked.

"No! Ash!"

The two male vampires laughed hysterically before remembering their sorrows and quickly retreated back into tears.

Back in the lounge, Rashel was holding a very sharp and pointy fence picket to Thierry's throat. Hannah was clinging on to Blaise's arm; eyes wide open in fear. Blaise was doing her best to shake the offending item off. Thea hesitantly approached Rashel, laid a hand on her shoulder and started to gently say, "Don't you think…" before she backed away nervously as Rashel was beginning to growl.

Delos, standing behind the sofa, surveying the scene at a safe distance and from behind a suitable defence, disappeared from sight.

"Well done, Rashel." Jez said angrily. "It took us two hours to even convince him it was safe enough to _kneel _behind the sofa and another three to get up to stand up."

Rashel flashed daggers at Jez and said, "I don't think you're really in a position to talk to me like that, after all I am the stronger out of the two of us."

"You might be a vampire hunter, little miss high and mighty, but you are also human. Whereas I am a vampire hunter, half vampire and a wild power."

"Yeah, but you're also tied to a chair." Rashel sniggered.

"That's another thing I wanted to pick a bone with you about. I really don't think you're treatment of me is quite justified. I only said that Dipsi is way cuter than both Aragorn and Legolas put together…"

"You insulted Legolas. He is the most gorgeous creature on the planet. That divine blonde hair, his great stature… What are you laughing at?"

"I just think it's quite contradictory that your soulmate is a short, fat, black haired vampire instead of a tall, blonde and elegant elf." Laughed Iliana.

"Yeah, pity I didn't kill Quinn when I had the chance." Sighed Rashel.

Quinn, who had that moment decided that he might just about be over his grief and so could return to the lounge, heard and fled back to the cupboard. The only problem was that he had forgotten to open the door. He collapsed on the floor unconscious.

"Excuse me please, but can you just remind me exactly why you are holding a fence picket to my throat?" Thierry squeaked.

"Um… I can't actually remember. I think it might have been something you said about the lead actor in Barbie Rapunzel."

"Well, seeing as you've forgotten, am I allowed to go free?"

"You might as well. Untie Jez on your way." This Thierry did as quickly as possible before running over to Hannah lying at the bottom of the wall having hit it quite hard when Blaise threw her at it.

Ash appeared at the door dressed in a long hooded cape that looked like it had come from the set of Dracula and fluorescent orange trousers.

"Did I miss anything? Look at my lovely birthday presents, I think I was a little spoiled this year. The cape cost 10p from the Oxfam shop, I think it will be useful for going to Tesco's in. The trousers cost 20p from the charity shop next door to Oxfam's. I bought them so I could dress up as a pumpkin for Halloween."

This time no one waited until he was out of earshot before bursting into gales of laughter.


End file.
